If not for the EPA regulations, I'd just add a drop or two of Mercury to each battery terminal before putting the cables on.
Incidentally, not being able to use Mercury in dry-cell batteries any longer due to EPA regulations, is why AAA, AA C and D cells don't last as long as they used to.
Same chemistry and same amount of it, but you can't use as much of the chemically stored electrical energy because of less surface contact area between the poles and the electrolyte paste.
Net result, more disposable batteries in landfills. Ain't progress wonderful?
